Waiting To Fly

Not enough fingers and toes to track or organize
the beautiful stories that pulse through my soul,
Feeding my famished ambition, and supporting my floating dreams.
In times of monotony and strife, I sense vivid colors,
whirling patterns, true love, and a lost soul found.
Beauty that's suffocating, and landscapes that liberate.
Truth written on the trunks of trees, and prayers lining the clouds,
my experience in paradise saves my life.
Each time I suck in-stealing sweet honeysuckle away from the sky.
Creating thoughts so much bigger than this life we have,
So much bigger than me and you.
A rare, widespread ocean of opportunity,
constantly wailing for my attention, begging for my future.
Hot pavement burning my feet,
the air full of yellow, collecting on my body as I own the street.
Skipping with the breeze.
Just floating through life.
Allowing nonesene to replace reality.
Waiting for freedom.
Waiting for wide open spaces.
Wind in my hair, miles passing under my seat.
The sun casting the longest shadows all year.
Preparing to take off.
Waiting to Fly.

Eighteen Forever.

I wrote in my journal last night about how "eighteen forever" entered my life, and why it is so important to me. After reading it just barely I realized that the only person I wrote that for was myself.
However, towards the end I wrote all the random defining thoughts that daily swarm inside my head. It was an incredible release and an exuberant feeling to finally see everything I have been holding on to for so long, out on paper. The following is an excerpt of that journal entry.

"I am ecstatic to indulge in the future. Experiencing as much as in this beautiful world as I can. I plan on venturing into the horizon whenever I feel like it. I may not know for sure where I am headed... and honestly- that is the beauty of it.
I want to be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks. To embrace, not knowing what comes next. I want to find something that makes me happy and follow it wherever it leads me. I want to live a creative life, and stop expecting perfection. I want to accept this beautiful, strange world, and learn from it in my own way...at my own pace. No matter where I go- I'll go with all my heart. To live every day so that every sunrise holds more promise, and every sunset holds more peace. I want to fly..like a bird. I want to "live my life for others; for that is the only life worthwhile." (-Albert Einstein). I want to live so that only living on this Earth once, is enough. I want to have outgoing guts, and the imagination to improvise while making my life writable. I'll measure my success only in laugh lines.
Also, maybe one day I’ll get a serious career, or be serious about a spouse. Maybe I’ll learn adult daily responsibility; I'll settle down in my home town, and pay bills on a modest home with a wrap around porch and a kitchen where the sun streams in from any hour of the day. I don’t deny that one day, that will be me. in fact, I hope it is. but never want to lose sight of the little things, like running barefoot, or wishing on wish flowers, or finding beauty and purity in the innocence of a rainstorm. I never want to forget the way it feels to sit outside at night, looking at the stars or the city lights and knowing that it’s possible to do absolutely anything.
"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world" (-Anne Frank).
I pray that the spirit and fire that burns within me now at 18, lives within my soul forever.